I'm feeling much better. Thanks for caring!
You know that saying, "Be careful what you wish for?" Or "Like attracts like?"
Well, I've really been into trying "new" things, like I said. And one of the reasons I'm doing it intentionally is because it builds resilience when new things come our way unexpectedly.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
I'm hesitant to write about it all because, well, it's good practice to wait to talk about something after our emotions have settled a bit. Maybe we can see the rainbow after the storm.
But I am in a couple storms.
One is quite literal -- a winter storm. It's happening now. I did round one of snow removal today, (one yesterday) and Esa can do another round when he gets back from work. Or I'll do it tomorrow.
But to reminisce, here is a lovely picture after our second "first snow" from Monday morning.
Now that is the wonderful nostalgia of winter. That's like a post card.
But that is not reality in the least.
Calumet is on a hill. More specifically, it's on the ridge line as the spine of the Keweenaw Peninsula whose shores descend into our majestic Lake Superior -- the snow machine.
Copper Harbor is on the north shore of that peninsula. It does get some snow. But being on the shore, it gets much less snow than the top of the hill that sits in the clouds and wind.
After living in the Harbor for nearly two decades, and learning to move my own snow (but always accepting help from others!), I know the harbor gets a lot of snow in comparison to most of this country. And that is why people always marvel at the fact that humans can live in Copper Harbor year round.
But let me tell you.
It does not compare to the top of the hill.
I remember driving "to town" from the harbor each winter, withnessing the banks between neighboring houses in Mohawk and Calumet growing far above people's heads. And I always said, "I would not want to live here."
Well, guess what.
I live here.
Now I am doing my best not to complain, but I somehow forgot this very important piece of Keweenaw living.
Here is my backyard today.
That's the path to the shed to bring out the beast. AKA, the snowblower. I don't like noisy, smelly machines, but there is certainly a time and a place for them, and snow removal is one.
This is the front yard.
Yes, I shoveld the steps and a path to them. The shovel blew off in the wind and that is me not caring right now. HA! I am being real!
It's still November!
Calumet gets way more snow with way less places to put it. That is the dilemma.
But this is me going through a winter storm in a new place. This is me learning to adapt. This is me trying to convince myself that this "new" level of snow torture is going to be okay. That we will make it through.
I think I would be less stressed if my mechanic, who grew up in this neighborhood hadn't given me the doom and gloom of it all. "You'll spend all day shoveling, and you've got no place to put it. Then the plow comes by and puts a pile at the end of your driveway up to that doorknob there. Then the wind blows it all around anyway and your path is gone. Filled right in. Make sure to keep your driveway pushed out as farrrrrr as you can or you won't be able to park there at all."
And on and on.
I panicked on my drive home from the mechanic's, but at least I had my winter tires on!
But I just got the report that Copper Harbor has half the amount of snow as Calumet does right now.
Half.
So when I thought I was a big shot moving snow down on the shore, it's only half of what I'm in for.
With no place to put it.
As my grandpa Wais would say, "Ay, ay ay!"
Okay. That was slightly a rant from the windy city because it is also always windy here. Top of the hill, you know.
Yup. I seriously feel like this is my first winter in the Keweenaw. At least I am handy with the snowblower and the blue scoop already. They will be my buddies for the next four months. Or five.
>Sighs dramatically.<
We will get through this!
Are you bored, or do you want to hear about my other storm? I honestly don't know which one is worse.
Ay, ay, ay!
Although this emotional storm is far from over, I think -- I HOPE -- I have a decent handle on it, so it will sound less like a rant and more like the rainbow we are always promised.
This will also give you another perspective on the Copper Harbor/Calumet comparison.
Braeden was raised in Copper Harbor. In a loving-to-the-nth-degree community. And, quite honestly, quite sheltered from "the real world."
We didn't have a TV. He could watch videos, but they were heavily monitored by yours truly with no commercials, violence, swearing, etc.
It is my sweet little boy's second year at the big school. He is now riding the big bus home because he loves it. And he comes home and says words and phrases that I did not teach him. He comes home with less than desirable behavior reports -- including aggressive behavior that I struggle to figure out where he learned it from.
We've been working on the behavior thing for a few weeks, but it came to a head when the principal called to tell me about Braeden's really terrible day last week. I wept on the phone as I blubbered to figure it all out.
I threw all my day's projects on the backburner and decided I was going to call everyone I could. Do all the rescearch I could. Check on his GI health. Anything I could think of to solve the problem of his climaxing behavioral outbursts.
I made a list of like 10 possibilities and tried to figure out solutions for them all. Sure, I was getting nothing else done, but I dedicate to my son, and I WAS GOING TO SOLVE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
But do you know what I realized?
I can't.
I cannot control his behavior. I could be talking to specialists, doctors, more family members, etc. but none of that is going to control his behavior.
He is a ten-year-old boy with Down syndrome fresh in the face of the big school. He is going to learn new words. He is going to witness aggressive behavior. He is going to get teased. He is going to use that behavior on others to see what kind of reaction he gets. That's how people learn.
And I cannot protect him.
Oof, now I'm crying.
I cannot protect him anymore.
He is going to learn all those "new" things too. Some will hurt. Some will make him feel awesome. But he is his own person, and he needs to learn. He needs to learn what I refuse to teach him.
All I can do is be there for him, pry a little to try to figure out what he was really thinking and feeling in those moments (not an easy task with Mr. I Don't Know.) and give him tools for success.
So that's where I am in this storm. I am now focusing on which tools will work best for him, how I need to present this tool kit and realize that I'll probably have to start over and try again anyway.
I can tell you what some of the most important tools might be: taking a deep breath (though it is often rejected and he runs away), identifying the emotion he's feeling, making sure everyone is safe in that moment, and finding a solution for what needs to happen next to either understand that emotion or to move on.
I have to understand that, like the tons of snow that have yet to land in the driveways of Calumet and Mohawk, my son will learn and use behaviors that are not appropriate for society.
There are tools to move snow and there are tools to deal with emotions. But I also must deal with my own attitude. That is what will truly get me through these storms... and the next ones.
Oh, you are a trooper for getting through this. If you haven't already, here is our latest interview with the sultry Tammy Cloutier. She is the only licensed masseuse to have a public practice year round in the harbor. And she is gooooood.
Please enjoy. And remember that gratitude is most effective when expressed daily.
Stay awesome!
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